The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956): Que Sera Scare-a!

This blog post is hosted by the Fabulous Films of the 1950s Blogathon, hosted by the Classic Movie Blog Association (CMBA), running from May 22 through May 26, 2014.  We hope you’ll enjoy this blast from the past!

Today’s parents are often accused  of “Helicopter Parenting,” but after the harrowing adventure the McKenna Family endures in Alfred Hitchcock’s 1956 remake of The Man Who Knew Too Much, who can blame them for being a heck of a lot clingier than usual?

As TCM’s Brian Cady notes, the original 1934 smash hit got Hitchcock started on a nearly unbroken string of wildly popular suspense thrillers that made him “The Master of Suspense.”

Hitchcock's films were well known for their cymbalism...

But Hitchcock had never been the type to rest on his laurels.  Sure, the original Man Who Knew Too Much (let’s just call it “Man,” we’re all pals here!) was already a classic, but Hitchcock felt his original masterpiece would be even better with Paramount’s glorious VistaVision and the other new technologies available at the time, making the 1956 version even better.

It’s A Wonderful World: The Original Colbert Report!

This revised version of It's A Wonderful World (1939) comes from The James Stewart Blogathon!  Hosted by The Classic Film & TV Café from April 14th to April 17, 2014! 

Welcome to Edwina Corday's Poetry Corner! Here's her poetry-chart-topping rhyme, "It's A Wonderful World":

The night will be here when we are gone,
Though we are gone, the stars will be here,
And other throats will sing in the dawn,
It’s a wonderful world, my dear

Don’t rack your brain trying to remember Edwina’s lovely poem from your poetry class; you’ll find her body of work in the Hollywood School of Poetry. Our gal Edwina is a ditzy but soulful poetess; yes, that’s what they call her in the comedy-adventure It’s A Wonderful World (1939), a poetess, not a poet.  And no, it’s not Frank Capra's classic Christmas film It’s A Wonderful Life, though we wouldn’t blame you for the confusion; more about that momentarily. I guess poets were like that in 1939.  But I digress!

Things aren't going well for Guy!
Where are Nick & Nora, and Asta when you need them? 

Edwina is played by that luminous Oscar-winner Claudette Colbert of It Happened One Night and  The Palm Beach Story among so many other hits. With that title alone, you’d have every right to expect it to be a wonderful screwball comedy-mystery, at the very least.  It’s got heck of a pedigree, starting with Oscar-winning director W.S. “Woody” Van Dyke, who brought us San Francisco (1936) as well as Team Bartilucci favorite The Thin Man (1934) and several of its sequels. The script was a collaboration between talented, versatile screenwriters Ben Hecht and Herman J. Mankiewicz (the latter being part of the Mankiewicz filmmaking family, including his grandson Ben Mankiewicz of TCM fame), whose combined resumes included such classics as Nothing Sacred; Twentieth Century; Dinner At Eight; Citizen Kane; The Front Page and its distaff remake His Girl Friday; and several of Alfred Hitchcock’s best films.  Now team up Claudette Colbert with a pre-Oscar James Stewart (note that Colbert’s name appears onscreen in a larger font than Stewart’s, since she was the bigger star at the time).  It didn’t hurt that the film’s title brought to mind the stars’ beloved previous films It Happened One Night and It’s a Wonderful Life (even if …Life took audiences quite a while to get into film fans’ hearts. I won’t lie to you, folks: we of Team Bartilucci have always found It’s a Wonderful Life infuriating for myriad reasons!  But I digress again; sorry about that!). The action is set in both New York City and upstate New York, which is a plus for a native New Yorker like me.  Furthermore, keep in mind that 1939 was a banner year for great movies all around!  With all that going for It’s A Wonderful World, the resulting collaboration should be a real crowd-pleaser, right?

Dig that crazy Coke bottle Boy Scout disguise!
Good thing Edwina has good "Guy" sight!

Well…almost!  It’s A Wonderful World was watchable enough, but for much of its 86-minute running time, I found it more amiable than actually wonderful, or laugh-out-loud funny, or nail-bitingly suspenseful.  Sure, the film has its moments, but as a whole, it didn’t truly grab my undivided attention until about the last 40 minutes  , when the joint was jumpin' with shooting, tension, and clever scheming to unmask the villains. But I’m getting ahead of myself!

Stewart plays a NYC private eye with the manly-man name of Guy Johnson.  Showing his range just as he did in After the Thin Man (1936), Stewart’s Guy is no folksy charmer here, but a cynical tough guy who thinks dames are dopes, and isn’t afraid to cuff ’em one if they start squawking. If Guy tried that today, he’d be in for a lawsuit!  Come to think of it, the role of Guy was probably good practice for the darker, more emotionally-complicated roles Stewart played under the direction of Alfred Hitchcock and Anthony Mann in the 1950s!

Guy Kibbee as “Cap” Streeter is sapped by Edwina,
who thinks she’s helping and thinks she killed Cap! Oy!

Guy works with his older, more seasoned partner Fred “Cap” Streeter (Guy Kibbee from Mr. Smith Goes to Washington; 42nd Street; Babbitt) for a private investigation firm called, appropriately enough, Private Inquiries. Their biggest client is the much-married souse and tobacco heir Willie Heyward, a.k.a. “Willie the Pooh” (played by Ernest Truex, great as put-upon milquetoast types in His Girl Friday; Whistling in the Dark; and TV’s Alfred Hitchcock Presents). Having previously worked demonstrating electric belts in drugstore windows for all to see before he became a private eye, cynical Guy is determined to hang onto his meal ticket: “Willie the Pooh’s my dream man, and I’m gonna keep fishing him out of manholes just as long as he keeps paying off.”

Too bad Willie gets himself framed for the murder of Dolores Gonzales (Cecilia Callejo from Blood and Sand; The Falcon in Mexico), a “Broadway nymph” and bubble dancer in the Sally Rand mold, who’d been all set to sue Willie for allegedly jilting her—until Guy and New York’s Finest find Dolores murdered on the floor with the ever-drunken Willie not knowing which end is up.

“Willie the Pooh,” found at one of the
places he's been seen going around.

But he brings his troubles on himself, considering he keeps demanding to kill “wops” when he’s “snoozled,” especially when he’s in public.  Where are Nick and Nora Charles in The Thin Man and/or its other sequels when you need them?  The only clue to Dolores’ killer is a dime mysteriously cut in half.  Our perplexed P.I. finds him
self framed by Vivian Tarbel, a.k.a. the newly-minted Mrs. Heyward (Frances Drake of Mad Love and the 1935 version of Les Miserables) and her honey, Al Mallon (Sidney Blackmer, the great character actor who’s graced everything from Charlie Chan in Monte Carlo to Rosemary’s Baby).  Before you can say “Philo Vance,” Guy is charged with conspiracy and sentenced to a year in Sing Sing.

On the train to prison, Guy is handcuffed to Sergeant Koretz (Nat Pendleton, Thin Man alumnus and one of Team Bartilucci’s favorite wrestlers-turned-actors), accompanied by Lieutenant Miller (Edgar Kennedy, Mr. Slow Burn himself) as they pass the time playing poker. Guy notices a personal ad in a nearby newspaper: “Why don’t you come to Saugerties Theater Wednesday evening, and see your long-lost husband? HALF-A-DIME.” (For you readers unfamiliar with upstate New York, yes, Saugerties is a real town.)  Guy tricks Koretz into leaving their compartment for a smoke, and *SPLASH!* Guy manages a watery escape under cover of night (shouldn’t Edwina be in bed at that hour?  Surely she’d lose too much of her beauty sleep).

But our perky poetess happens to see the whole thing. Before you can say “I swear by my eyes,” which Edwina says all through the picture, Guy takes Edwina hostage, and wacky hijinks ensue. Elsewhere, in one of my favorite bits, Sgt. Koretz tries to convince the local police that he was jumped by a mob instead of Guy tricking him and knocking him out singlehandedly. If you ask me, Guy could be so obnoxious sometimes, I wouldn’t have minded if someone had punched his lights out!  For that matter, I’d love to see where Edwina got the notion that criminals are gallant.  Maybe she’s been reading and writing too much poetry?  Then again, Guy isn’t always as smart as he thinks he is, either!  For instance, Edwina actually gets Guy out of a jam when they’re lost in the woods.  Boy Scout Stanley Cavendish pretends to go for help, but Edwina realizes just in time that the scout is about to sic John Law on him!  The kid isn’t even honest about his name; it’s really Herman Plotka!  If you ask me, Guy needs to brush up his P.I. skills.  Where’s Sam Spade when you need him?  Stewart’s Coke-bottle glasses disguise cracked me up!  (Fun Fact: Herman’s name comes from Mildred Plotka, a.k.a. Lily Garland in the 1934 comedy Twentieth Century.)


How do you like them apples?
Isn't this how Stockholm Syndrome starts?

Bit by bit, the comedy starts to percolate as Guy and Edwina find themselves obliged to join forces out in the wilds of upstate New York, with Edwina alternately helping and unwittingly hindering Guy as he tries to prove his innocence and save Willie from the electric chair.  As I said, the first two-thirds of It’s A Wonderful World is watchable, if not exactly full-tilt hilarious.

But.

As our dear friend and fellow blogger R.A. Kerr might say, a miracle happens, as described by my husband Vinnie: “Suddenly Claudette Colbert shifted the plot into reverse psychology!”

A guy, a poetess...romance?

By some miracle, comedy and suspense suddenly blend together beautifully at the Saugerties County Theatre’s production of the Maxwell Anderson/Laurence Stallings play What Price Glory?  Slowly but surely, Guy warms up to Edwina , who’s already falling in love with Guy despite the bickering that always seems to be expected in such situations; just ask Robert Donat and Madeleine Carroll in The 39 Steps.  Our heroes infiltrate the theater when scene-stealing grand-dame theater director Madame J. L. Chambers (Cecil Cunningham from the 1931 Monkey Business; The Awful Truth) hires Guy as the play’s new Southern-accented actor, “Cyril Hemingway.”

"Do you-all have shootin' in this play?"
"Nothing but. It's the noisiest backstage since Ben Hur".

Cap comes to help Guy, only to become a human Whack-A-Mole as Edwina’s well-meant attempts to help both men keep backfiring. I was worried that poor Cap would be brain-damaged before this dizzy tale was over!  What’s more, Vivian’s Aussie ex turns up, unaware he’s got a target on his back, poor fella! The stage cast within the movie’s cast (is there a scorecard in the house?) includes Team Bartilucci favorite Hans Conried (The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T.; TV’s Make Room For Daddy; Fractured Flickers); as well as George Chandler (Bogart fans will remember Chandler as nervous bartender Louis Ord in Dead Reckoning); as well as Anchors Aweigh; and Grady Sutton, who I always remember from TV’s Odd Couple episode “The Flying Felix” as Tony Randall tries lip-reading: “I sense…much…trouble…in…the…fuselage…Frederick!”

CATFIGHT!!!

 All kidding aside, there’s genuine suspense in the urgently-whispered conversation between Cap and Guy as we’re reminded that Willie’s life is at stake. There’s even a nifty little catfight between Edwina and Vivian at the end!
 Leading man Stewart was under contract to MGM at the time, but the studio never seemed to know how to exploit his talents until other studios led the way for them. A 1937 loan-out to Columbia for Frank Capra's You Can't Take It With You had proven his skill at folksy comedy, which explains Stewart’s casting in this screwball farce. But his fans at the time were horrified to see him playing a cynical, chauvinistic private eye who at one point even slugs his leading lady!

As Frank Miller explains in his article on the TCM Web site, “Claudette Colbert had looked forward to getting MGM’s legendary glamour treatment. However, her hopes “were dashed when director W.S. Van Dyke was assigned to the picture. Although he had helped create the screwball genre as director of The Thin Man in 1934, he was popular with studio head Louis B. Mayer mainly because he worked quickly, earning the nickname ‘One-Take Woody.’ His female star was appalled at how quickly he threw the film together, being used to the more leisurely pace at her home studio, Paramount, where great care was always taken to showcase her beauty.” Anyway, Colbert got more opportunities for glamour roles at MGM in films like The Secret Heart (1946).
 
 Although It's a Wonderful World got some good reviews, particularly from Hecht fan Otis Ferguson in The New Republic, it was mostly dismissed by critics for having too many cheap laughs. Writing for the New York Times, Frank Nugent complained, “Ben Hecht must have sent out native beaters with tom-toms and slapsticks to drive stray gags from miles around into the Metro corral for It's a Wonderful World....The comedy is almost too strenuous for relaxation." After only three years as an MGM producer, Frank Davis would return to writing after this picture, scoring some of his biggest successes with his scripts for A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (1945) and The Train (1964). Before that, however, he would issue his own rather prophetic assessment of the production: “The studio should have known that Jimmy Stewart would never do any of those unconvincing things. However, I predict that his next film, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington [1939], will more than make up.”  And how!

The Two Faces of Vertigo

This post for Backlot’s Hitchcock Halloween combines both new and previous material.  Happy Halloween to Fearless Leader Lara & Bloggers!

*** Caution!  You’re in The House Where Spoilers Dwell! ***

(No fooling — SPOILERS galore here!)

Face One:

For me, Vertigo keeps getting better over time!  It’s hard to believe now, but when I was younger, I used to have a love/hate relationship with Alfred Hitchcock’s classic romantic psychological thriller Vertigo. I loved its suspense; its moving performances; the dreamlike quality of its haunting love story; and most of all, Bernard Herrmann’s score.  So why did it take me years to embrace Vertigo as wholeheartedly as our beleaguered hero John “Scottie” Ferguson embraces his beloved Madeleine Elster? The ever-awesome James Stewart (from such classic Hitchcock thrillers as Rear Window; the 1956 version of The Man Who Knew Too Much; Rope; and the not-Hitchcockian but nevertheless delightful Stewart’s Oscar-winning performance in The Philadelphia Story (yes, sometimes even Team Bartilucci enjoys non-Hitchcock movies!).

Dames!  They always put a guy in a spin!

Stewart plays John Ferguson, “Scottie” to friends (more about that shortly).  Scottie is a former police detective who finds out the hard way that he has acrophobia (fear of heights, to us laypeople) when he can’t save a patrolman from falling to his death during a rooftop chase. Since Vertigo is a Hitchcock movie, what better place for our hero to live and wrestle with his phobia than San Francisco; oh, that Hitch, always adding a touch of sadism for his beleaguered protagonists to work through, that scamp!

Poor Scottie would rather be on The Spirit of St. Louis right now!

We meet Scottie as he’s visiting longtime friend Midge Wood, played by scene-stealer Barbara Bel Geddes from Panic in the Streets; I Remember Mama; TV’s Dallas as the beloved Miss Ellie.  Fun Fact: Bel Geddes was also the daughter of Norman Bel Geddes, the renowned theatrical and industrial designer.  But I digress!  Scottie and Midge had been engaged “for three whole weeks” before they opted to be just friends instead, though it sure looks to me like it’s clear Midge would like more.  Midge is working on a cantilever bra invented by an engineer; nice work if you can get it!  Ever loyal, Midge tries to help Scottie overcome his fear of heights gradually with stepladders: “I look up, I look down...” And it was all going so well!  Too bad the ladders happened to be next to Midge’s high-rise apartment window; poor guy, it's always something!

 Madeleine Elster:  It's magic...or maybe witchcraft...whatever it is,we're spellbound!

Scottie’s old college chum Gavin Elster (suave Tom Helmore from Designing Woman; Advise and Consent; and several episodes of Alfred Hitchcock  Presents, of course) offers Scottie a private investigator job tailing his lovely but troubled young wife, Madeleine (Kim Novak in her finest, most challenging, and moving performance, even more so than The Man with the Golden Arm and the 1964 version of Of Human Bondage). It seems that Madeleine—one of the coolest and most elegant of the director’s legendary “Hitchcock Blondes"—thinks she’s possessed by the spirit of her late great-grandmother Carlotta Valdes, and is behaving accordingly. Scottie, ever the “hard-headed Scot,” is a tough sell at first:

Gavin Elster: “Scottie, do you believe that someone out of the past, someone dead, can enter and take possession of a living being?”

Scottie:  “No.”

Gavin: “If I told you that I believe this has happened to my wife, what would you say?”

Scottie:  “Well, I’d say take her to the nearest psychiatrist, or psychologist, or neurologist, or psycho—or maybe just the plain family doctor.  I’d have him check on you, too.”

But it soon becomes clear Gavin is serious about his troubled wife, so for old times’ sake, Scottie takes the job and discreetly tails Madeleine all over San Francisco to the places where the tragic Carlotta lived, loved, and went mad after her sugar daddy “threw her away” and kept their love child.  Midge has plenty of knowledge about the old days of San Francisco, like “…who shot who in the Embarcadero in August 1879.”  Midge and Scottie go to The Argosy Book Shop, where all the great San Francisco sleuths like Sam Spade in The Maltese Falcon and Phillip Marlowe in The Big Sleep and Murder, My Sweet take care of no-goodniks, with the help of book seller/historian “Pop” Liebel (Konstantin Shayne from The Secret Life of Walter Mitty The Stranger; The Seventh Cross). It’s like the most elegant, discreet shadowing ever — that’s what I call class!  

Madeleine and Scottie:  so close and yet so far!

 
Our determined hawkshaw finally comes face to face with his quarry after saving her when she jumps into the bay in one of her fugue states.  That’s “meeting cute” on a whole other level!  Interestingly, Scottie introduces himself by his Christian name, John, and Madeleine says she likes that strong name — and yet they both end up calling him “Scottie,” a more playful, almost childlike name. Perhaps it’s because the two of them aren’t truly comfortable because Madeleine just might be hiding secrets from him?  To quote The Marvelettes, the hunter is captured by the game. Soon Scottie and Madeleine are mad for each other— but it seems poor troubled Madeleine is also mad in a less romantic way. When she confides in Scottie about her recurring morbid dreams about the Mission at San Juan Bautista, Scottie brings her there in hopes of curing her obsession. Bad move, Scottie — Madeleine bolts to the bell tower! Scottie gives chase, but his vertigo paralyzes him halfway up the stairs (great spatial F/X here). Poor Madeleine!  Where’s Dr. Constance Petersen from Spellbound when you need her?  And poor Scottie!  He hears a woman screaming, sees a body fall past the window...and his beloved Madeleine is no more. 

Carlotta Valdes' final resting place...unless she's subletting with Madeleine's soul!

Or is she? After he recovers from a grief-induced nervous breakdown, Scottie spies shopgirl Judy Barton (the versatile Novak again). Except for her red hair and somewhat tacky fashion sense, Judy’s a dead ringer for Madeleine! As their relationship grows, so does audience apprehension as Scottie obsessively tries to give Judy the ultimate makeover, recreating his lost love. Granted, the hosts of What Not to Wear have lately gone their separate ways while still being pals, but still: where are Stacy and Clinton when you need them?!

Yikes!  Not a lifeguard in sight!  Thank goodness for Scottie's
quick thinking and Madeleine's natural buoyancy!

Judy actually turns out to be a quick study — because she’s really Madeleine! You see, Judy was Gavin Elster’s mistress, and he coached her to look and act like the real Madeleine Elster as part of a murder plot. ’Twas the real Mrs. Elster who died at the mission that fateful day, and Elster’s real purpose for poor Scottie was to witness the “suicide.”  The hell of is that Judy truly loves Scottie.  On top of that, she also has all the self-esteem of a squashed grape, poor thing, and doesn’t want to spill the murder plot, what with those pesky laws and such. So Judy’s willing to play Eliza Doolittle to Scottie’s macabre Henry Higgins. But the jig is up when, post-makeover, Judy wears a necklace Scottie recognizes as part of Madeleine's Carlotta Valdes Collection! Furious at being played for a sucker, Scottie takes Judy to the mission tower and forces her to confess. With their emotions kicked up, Scottie and Judy embrace with yearning and regret, but a black shape looms. Guilt-ridden Judy is so spooked by what turns out to be a curious nun (Judy must’ve gone to one of those tough parochial schools) that she loses her balance and falls...and a shattered Scottie loses his Madeleine a second, final time, looking like he wants to join her.

I love Scottie and Madeleine's big romantic kiss;
it's like From Here to Eternity with clothes on!

When I first saw Vertigo in my college years during its 1980s re-release, I thought it was well worth seeing, but Scottie’s necrophilic mania to recreate Judy as Madeleine really upset me at the time. I found myself rooting for/angry at/sorry for Scottie and Judy all at once. Stewart’s portrayal of a man obsessed is tragic and unnerving; Hitchcock really knew how to tap into his leading man’s dark side. As if the ghoulishness of Scottie’s romantic obsession and the malleable Judy’s heartbreaking lack of self-esteem weren’t frustrating enough, even the department store salespeople and salon personnel in the film go along with Scottie’s demands.   As the salon stylists say, “The gentleman certainly seems to know what he wants,” and even they were giving Scottie odd looks, despite Judy’s anguished protests. Even Vinnie, my husband, aptly noted that everyone on screen acted as if Scottie was simply having a pedigreed dog groomed.  Kind of brings a new take on Hitchcock’s famous “Actors are like cattle” bon mot, doesn’t it?

Poor Scottie!  Even in his dreams, Carlotta gives him the Hairy Eyeball!

On my first time around, it seemed to me that Hitchcock gave away the mystery's solution too soon, making the rest of the film anticlimactic. But my appreciation for Vertigo grew over the years as I matured and learned more about life, people, and emotions. By the time Vinnie and I saw the beautifully restored version of Vertigo at NYC’s Ziegfeld Theatre in 1996, Judy’s revelatory letter touched my heart and added to the suspense of waiting for the other shoe to drop for Scottie. There’s no question that Vertigo has long since become one of my favorite Hitchcock films!   (Fun Fact:  Our longtime buddy Jason Simos of Focus Features happened to be waiting on line for the movie, so we all went together and had a great time, and I was surprised with a baby shower at my mother-in-law’s home!

Face Two:  The Lighter Side

Make no mistake, I’ve found Vertigo progressively more riveting and fascinating over time.  I wouldn’t change a frame of it now, from the powerful performances to Bernard Herrmann’s swooning, poignant score. That said, in my heart of hearts, I’m still a sucker for, if not a full-tilt happy ending, then at least a hopeful one.  Heck, I’ll even take an ending that isn’t entirely plausible, if only because I find myself feeling for the characters. That’s why I’ve sometimes toyed with alternate ways that Vertigo’s plot could have turned out, at least to satisfy my own private amusement and “what-if” thoughts about the characters' fates. It’s just that I’ve come to care so much about those obsessed but strangely lovable crazy kids John “Scottie” Ferguson and Madeleine Elster, a.k.a. Judy Barton, so the softie in me can’t help wondering how Vertigo’s plot would have unfolded with just a few little behavioral tweaks in these characters. Goshdarnit, where are screenwriters Alec Coppel & Samuel Taylor and source authors Pierre Boileau & Thomas Narcejac when you really need them?

"Oh, Johnny-O, where's your wry sense of humor?  And you wonder
why we broke up our engagement in college!"

"Coffee, tea, or me?"

The most obvious change, of course, would have been for Judy not to go along with Gavin Elster’s wife-killing scheme in the first place, but then we’d have no movie. So let’s say Judy goes along with the San Juan Bautista murder plot up until the fateful moment when, in Madeleine mode, she skedaddles up to the mission tower—where poor acrophobic Scottie can’t follow her—and screams when Scottie can no longer see her, cuing Elster to give his real wife’s body the big sendoff, making it look like poor possessed Madeleine leapt to her death.  Remember how, before Judy/Madeleine breaks free from Scottie’s embrace to dash for the tower, he gives her that heartfelt speech about how the past should be forgotten, they’re together now, and hugging and kissing ensue? What if Judy took a moment to think it over (by now it’s obvious that she loves Scottie more than that fiend Elster anyway) and said, “You’re right, Scottie my love, we were meant for each other. Let’s blow this clambake and start a new life together,” or some Madeleine-appropriate equivalent? I can see it now: Scottie and his beloved drive away while that murdering bastard Elster is left holding the bag, no pun intended. If nuns or tourists should happen upon Elster getting ready to toss the real Madeleine’s corpse over the side, he might try to squirm out of it by claiming she slipped and hit her head, breaking her neck. Elster might even try to sue the mission for damages—unless, of course, an autopsy proved foul play. How sophisticated were autopsies in 1958, anyway?

Judy's gonna sit right down and write herself a letter confessing the murder plot—or will she?

Considering Scottie is still calling our heroine “Madeleine” at this point, I’m imagining her snuggling up to him as they drive away, cooing, “You can call me Judy. All my friends do.” Hey, if Scottie can go by his nickname, so can Judy!

"Pop" Leibel" knows all the scuttlebutt from old San Francisco,
plus the first-ever draft of Fifty Shades of Gray, that slyboots!

Of course, presuming our lovebirds don’t head off at once for someplace where a suspicious San Francisco death might not be news, Judy would probably have some explaining to do when Scottie got wind of Mrs. Elster’s untimely demise. Would Judy tell Scottie the truth, taking a chance on him becoming disillusioned with her and leaving? Would she try to make it look like Elster had backed her into a corner, leaving her no choice but to go along with his plan until the last minute?

It's not easy to live a double life (oy, my head...)

Then again, if Elster were arrested for murder, Judy would surely either be arrested as an accomplice or be required to testify in court. (In 1958, would Raymond Burr have been cast as Judy’s attorney?) Would Scottie decide that, regardless, he loves Judy so much (especially in her Madeleine garb) he’d lie for her, or run off with her to Rio or some other place where extradition is more trouble than it’s worth? And what about his faithful, long-suffering gal pal, Midge Wood? What if she gets tired of being Scottie’s soft place to fall, finds out about Scottie trading her in for Judy/Madeleine, and decides to make trouble for the lovebirds? Sounds like a heck of a film noir to me!

On the other hand, Midge might decide her “Johnny-O” isn’t “the only man for (her)” after all. Come to think of it, we never did find out why Scottie and Midge broke off their college engagement. What was the real story behind that, I wonder? Maybe he’s got cold feet, or maybe Midge did.  Sometimes it’s easier to fall in love with someone he can never really have because of his own issues.  Anyway, I want to see Midge find a nice fella on her wavelength who’d give her his undivided attention. She could stop worrying about Scottie and concentrate on her career. She could join forces with that engineer who came up with the cantilevered bra Midge was working on when we first met her. They could design the lingerie and the factory!

...but there's some perks to the gig!
Stacy & Clinton would approve!

Let’s say love conquers all plot devices, and Scottie and Judy make a life together. What about his obsession with “Madeleine”? Would Judy decide blondes really do have more fun, and stick with the Madeleine look on her own terms and not just because Scottie’s dotty about it? I can hear the lovebirds now:

“Scottie, sweetie, I’ll wear my hair Madeleine style Monday through Friday and wear it loose on weekends, okay?”

“Aw, Judy, honey, if the style’s too much work, I’ll learn how to make that little chignon ’do for ya.”

Oh, to be torn 'twixt love and Judy!

Would Judy gradually bring in more Judyish attire? V-e-r-y gradually, since Scottie has apparently become more of an expert on feminine fashions and grooming than most “red-blooded” men of that era would dare admit. Scottie Ferguson, World’s Earliest Metrosexual! So would Judy sport a tacky bracelet here, a schmear of fire-engine-red lipstick there, until she’s more like her old pleasantly trashy self? She could even come home from the beauty salon one evening with more of a strawberry blonde tinge to her tresses. If Scottie ever complained that “You’re not the girl I fell in love with,” he’d be right!


Here's a clip of that magnificent 360 shot that shifts from the hotel room to the mission.


And here's a fan-made video of the song "Carlotta Valdez" by Harvey Danger!