"...in so many words..." has enticed my husband Vinnie Bartilucci of The 40-Year-Old Fanboy and I into a Flash Fiction writing challenge. With summer upon us and the suspenseful yet charming illustrations of Mario Cooper, Vin and I were happy to join the fun! Thanks for letting us play in your garden, Yvette!
LIFE'S A BEACH, by Team Bartilucci
(Dorian Tenore-Bartilucci & Vincent Bartilucci)
Milo grunted against the door, wet with sweat instead of the resort’s cool, refreshing pool. “I needed this today?”
After all the work and red tape it had taken Milo and Rosalie -- the latter being Milo’s charming, hot (in every sense, given the heat) assistant and beloved -- to get the MacGuffin Pool open at last, they couldn't get in the pool fast enough. They could see the crowds getting longer and thicker than a Mister Softee Double Sundae, from the window. Just one little problem: some idiot had trapped them in the old bank vault that they’d been assured would be gone and headed to the scrap heap by now.
Milo kept himself from yelling at Rosalie by focusing his increasing rage at the frozen deadbolt that kept them locked inside the tiny poolside cabana at the resort, the most exclusive in Brooklyn. He had to remind himself that in all fairness, he was the one who shut the door behind him to prove that she COULDN’T have locked herself in all by herself moments before. By pressing against the swollen door and not making eye contact, he hoped she wouldn’t choose to bring that…
“Oh no, honey, these things don’t stick, look…”
Rosalie rose from the dusty wicker chair and stormed about as well as she could across the modest floor.
After a time, Milo heard voices from the other side of the door. He couldn’t make out the words, but the voices were high-pitched and numerous. He pounded on the door with an open hand, calling for help, and the voices went silent. The chattering began again, a bit closer. Another pound at the door was met with what sounded like girlish giggling. Then there was a quiet tap at the door, met by more tittering. The voices were closer to the door now, and he could make out they were not speaking English; it sounded more like Japanese.
“Great,” thought Milo, “If I’d stayed married to my first wife, SHE could have talked to them.” Rosalie either didn’t hear him, or heard it PERFECTLY, and chose to file the comment for later use, seeing as she had plenty to use at the moment. He tried to call through the door to the (based on the pitch of their voices) girls to get them to help, but the tinkling tones from outside the building brought a shadow to his face.
“Softee-san! Softee-san!” chattered the younglings, and a chorus of feet stampeded out of the room. Milo slapped the door, this time in frustration.
“Will you please get that thing open so we can get in the pool? The sun’s going down already!”
Milo didn’t even turn as he asked, “How do you know” You’re not even wearing a watch!”
“I can SEE it through the curtains!”
Milo turned, but from the look on Rosalie’s face, she had already come to the same conclusion he did.
He walked across the small room, opened the floor length curtains…
He turned the lock on the glass patio doors, and with a flourish, bowed and waved at the door.
Rosalie collected her picture hat, wrap, and dignity, and walked through the door.
“Let’s not come back here.”
“Let’s find those little kids, then kick them in the pool.”
“I’ve always loved you.”
No fair, Dorian and Vinnie. You beat us all to the punch. I'll link back to this story on June 30th.ReplyDelete
We can talk more then about the story...
You guys are a tough act to follow. :)
Sorry, Yvette, your Flash Fiction proposal got me all excited! Consider it a compliment to your swell idea! But thanks for your kind words -- I'm looking forward to reading everyone else's Flash Fiction fun and frolic! With all the talented folks here, I know there will be plenty of cool Flash Fiction to look forward to! Congrats on a great idea, my friend!Delete
Try your hand at spinning a yarn based on this illustration, and join the creative fun at Yvette's blog "...in so many words..."! Tell your clever friends! :-)ReplyDelete
LOL, I love your story and don't think I could top it!ReplyDelete
Eve, Vinnie and I thank you for your kind comments about LIFE'S A BEACH! I realized I jumped the gun slightly, but I say why not think of this as a sneak preview? Anyway, June 30th is only a few days away, so I'm already excited and looking forward to more Flash Fiction fun with y'all! :-DDelete
The suspense. The agony. The punchline! I loved it.ReplyDelete
Thanks so much, Caftan Woman! Vinnie and I are delighted that you got a kick out of our daft little tale! But as Daffy Duck said, if you like that mess, you're starvin' for some real hoofin' -- by all means, please enjoy the rest of the gang participating in Yvette's Flash Fiction Challenge; it'll REALLY be going strong on Sunday, June 30th! It'll be a Fiction-Palooza! :-DDelete
What a funny story. When one door closes...another one opens, right?ReplyDelete
I could feel the distress, as I've always had a fear of getting stuck in an elevator; hence, why I almost always take the stairs. No curtain-shrouded exit doors hidden in there.
Patti, you're a gal after my own heart! Your comment "When one door closes...another one opens..." is indeed all too true here -- and so often here at Team Bartilucci HQ, for that matter! :-) We're glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for joining the fun, and please don't forget to check out our fellow bloggers' stories on June 30!Delete
By the way, congrats on being elected a governor!! I'm sure you'll be great in the position!ReplyDelete
Many thanks for your kind congratulations on my being elected to the CMBA, Patti! I'm happy to be working with my friends and fellow film bloggers Page and Marsha to help keep the CMBA doing the great job they always do! :-DDelete
Ooo! What a fun challenge! Marvelous job! It's lively! It's Summery! You are very limber with the English language, if you don't mind my saying so. ;-)ReplyDelete
Thanks for your kind praise, Fritzi, on behalf of my hubby Vinnie and me, a.k.a. Team Bartilucci! :-) We're delighted that you enjoyed LIFE'S A BEACH, and we're looking forward to everyone else's Flash Fiction, too!Delete
Hi babe (and hubby) my story is all set to go public on the morrow. :)ReplyDelete
I know of only one other blogger who will be participating, but hey, that's three of us. "Softee-san!" Ha!
Thanks a million for entering into the spirit of the thing, Dorian and Vinnie. Thanks for participating.
Yvette, if three people was good enough for The Three Musketeers, it's good enough for us! :-) Looking forward to the other blogger's post, too!Delete