The Morely, The Merrier! A Thanksgiving Weekend Double- Feature Saluting Robert Morely

British character actor Robert Morley (1908—1992) was one of cinema’s wittiest character actors—but if it had been up to his family, he would have ended up in the diplomatic service instead!  Luckily for us Morley fans, he was much more interested in acting instead.  His accolades included a Best Supporting Actor Oscar nomination for his comical turn in Marie Antoinette (1938), and classic movies including The African Queen; Topkapi; Beat the Devil; Around the World in 80 Days; Theatre of Blood; and so much more!  We of Team Bartilucci are spotlighting two of our favorites for our Robert Morley double-feature—enjoy!

Dorian's Pick: Who is Killing the Great Chefs of Europe? (1978)

Good to see you, Mr. Hitchcock! 
Oops, so sorry, Mr. Vandeveer, my mistake!

Ah, here come the holidays!  With Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanza, and any number of festive food-centric holidays descending upon us, Who is Killing the Great Chefs of Europe? (let’s save time and call it Great Chefs for short, shall we?) is a delicious way to kick off the first of half of our Robert Morley double-feature.  Before there were Julia Child, The Food Network, and The Cooking Channel, there were Nan and Ivan Lyons’ witty 1976 whodunit novel Someone is Killing the Great Chefs of Europe (1976). I read the novel when it was on best-seller lists, and it certainly had its moments of wit, sex, and clever violence.  Still, it seemed to me that the authors were so determined to cram in as much plot as possible that, for me, I’m afraid I eventually found it more exhausting than entertaining.  Nevertheless, the Lyonses wrote a 1995 sequel, Someone is Killing the Great Chefs of America, so brava to them, I say!

Happily, I found Ted Kotcheff’s 1978 film adaptation, Who is Killing the Great Chefs of Europe? (from Lorimar/Warner Bros.  Best of all, the script was from one of Team Bartilucci’s favorite screenwriters, Peter Stone (Charade; Arabesque; Mirage), a funny, suspenseful, romantic romp, with plenty of wit and fabulous food to boot! (Fun Fact:  director Kotcheff also co-starred in the 2003 fact-based drama Shattered Glass.) Just hearing Henry Mancini’s majestic yet playful score had me smiling!  Even when the characters are trading witty bon mots, there’s always a subtle, almost candlelit touch of sexy romance in the air, courtesy of Director of Photography John Alcott (The Shining; A Clockwork Orange; Barry Lyndon). 
And dig this international cast:

*Jacqueline Bisset — Her first name is pronounced “Jacque-lean,” and her last name rhymes with “Kiss It.” After debuting as “Miss Goodthighs” in the James Bond spoof Casino Royale, Bisset was on her way with such hits as Airport; Two For the Road; Rich and Famous; Murder on the Orient Express; The Deep.  I liked Ms. Bisset’s fashions by Oscar-winning costume designer Donfeld (not for Great Chefs, though.)  I admit Bisset's wardrobe might not work for every gal, but I rather liked Bisset’s rakish woolen coat and her Civil War outerwear; if it doesn’t bother Civil War re-enactors, I’m OK with it!  Fun Fact: Bisset is Oscar-winner Angelina Jolie’s Godmother!

*George Segal  — Ship of Fools; Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf; The Hot Rock; A Touch of Class; TV’s Just Shoot Me, and The Goldbergs.  Segal and Bisset had a delightful Tracy & Hepburn vibe in Great Chefs that I really enjoyed, especially with Stone’s aforementioned sparkling dialogue!

Robby's making plans for Nigel to turn that 
sweet little health food joint into 
Ranger Pete's Texas Burgers, complete with 
slaugherhouse! Another coup for 
American Fast Foods!

When we first meet Epicurious  publisher and gourmand Maximilian Vandeveer (Morley), we see that Max is a mountain of a man, huffing and puffing and scaring innocent pedestrians as they try not to be steamrollered by Max’s formidable girth. Dr. Deere (John Le Mesurier from I’m All Right, Jack; The Pink Panther; The Italian Job ).  Max is always accompanied by his assistant, Meacham (Madge Ryan of A Clockwork Orange), Max's assistant. As usual, Max is being a wiseacre, calling Dr. Deere “Doctor Darling” and such other wry barbs, but this time, Dr. Deere has worrisome news for Max:

Dr. Deere: “Would you care to remove your overcoat?”
Max: “Why? Is your diagnosis going to take us through a change of seasons?”
Dr. Deere: “Mr. Vandeveer, you are not a well man.”
Max: “That’s why I came to you instead of my florist.”

Dr. Deere cuts to the chase:  “Mr. Vandeveer , you are suffering from gout, enlarged liver, duodenal ulcer, spastic colon, heart murmur, and severe hardening of the arteries.  You are suffering from these maladies because you are calamitously fat. Unless you drastically alter your eating habits, you are most certainly going to die.”

Max: “Dr. Sweetheart, deprived of everything I adore, what makes you think I want to live?  Come along, Beecham!” 

Beecham looks like a woman thinking, 
a la Bugs Bunny, "Oh, brother! There goes 
me bread and butter! I gotta do something!

Why did the chickens cross the road? So Robby
could pitch an omelet franchise!

Of course, here in the 21^st century, Max’s health can be improved with less-draconian methods than they had in 1978, but since that’s when Great Chefs was made, feel free to consider it a period piece if you like! (Or watch The Biggest Loser, if that’s your cup of Spirulina or whatever.) 


Enter Robby Ross (Segal), head honcho of food conglomerate American Fast Foods.  At the moment, Robby’s in London, donning a cowboy hat and freaking out the patrons of the health-food restaurant The Potted Shed when he announces they’re starting a new franchise right next door: “Ranger Pete’s Texas Burgers!  A hundred percent pure meat!”  It’ll apparently do their own butchering on the premise. As Robby says: “You won’t hear that hammer go *smack* or nothin’!”   Robby cheerfully tells the hapless waiter (Nigel Havers of Empire of the Sun; Chariots of Fire).  Oh that Robby—what a sneakypuss!  The diners sure are running away faster than chariots of fire, for sure! 
Nowadays there are far less draconian ways to get healthy, but after all, this was 1978; think of this as a period piece if you like!  (Or watch The Biggest Loser, if you like that sort of thing.)  Robby’s ex-wife is Natasha O’Brien (Bisset), renowned for her fabulous desserts, not to mention she’s gorgeous. I wonder if she exercises like mad to keep her girlish figure?  Interestingly, I couldn’t help noticing Natasha is frequently described as “an American cook,” and yet she has an obvious British accent.  Did Natasha grow up among British emigres?  Was she naturalized in the U.S.?  Just curious!. But I digress…

Royal Food Fight at the Palace! 
Louis Kohner vs. Auguste Grandvilliers! 
Place your bets!

 It’s an exciting time for Natasha, as the renowned  food magazine Epicurious  has anointed Natasha to be one of the talented cooks whose work comprises “The World’s Most Fabulous Meal” for none other than Queen Elizabeth herself! 
 *Louis Kohner (Jean-Pierre Cassel) for his baked pigeon  in crust;
*Jean-Claude Moulineau (Phillippe Noiret of Coup de torchon) for his pressed duck.
*Fausto Zoppi (Stefano Satta Flores)
*And of course, our gal Nat makes the dessert, Le Bombe Richelieu!

Who says too many cooks spoil the broth?
Not Nat & Louis!

Mmm, this is one Bombe we wouldn't ban!

At snack time, Natasha and Louis have
their own version of "special sauce"!

Then there’s Auguste  Grandvilliers (Jean Rochefort of Tell No One), who’s furious that he was not on the list!  As Max explains, “This is for The World’s Most Fabulous Meal, not The Most Underrated Meal.”  Ouch! 

Oops! Guess happiness isn't a warm gun!

The excitement of playing the Palace takes a terrifying turn when Natasha wakes up from her sexy roll in the hay with Louis to discover he’s been baked to death!  Robby quickly comes to console her, but now the London police are giving Robby and Nat the Hairy Eyeball, and they soon realize other cooks on the Epicurious list are turning up dead, too!  It’s enough to spoil your appetite, if it weren’t for that delightful cast, witty dialogue, and lovely European locations!  Whodunit?  Watch it and enjoy this smart, sexy romp for yourself!

So many great lines, too! Here's one of my favorites:Natasha, noticing she and Robby only have one bed (before they kiss and make up):
“How come the only bed in this entire hotel comes with you in it?"
Robby: “There’s a convention in town.”
Natasha: “The Optimists, no doubt!”

Yikes! Poor  Louis' been overdone, bigtime!

In Venice, two's company and three's a crowd!

Rub-a-dub-dub, Nat & Rob in a tub!

No one will be seated during the duck-press killing; it's too gruesome!

Mother of gastronomy, is this the end of Max?

"I knew that divorce was too good to last!"

 Vinnie Picks at the plate - They say that Hitchcock used to film murder scenes the way others shoot love scenes, and vice versa. Well, this film shot food like others shot naked women. This may well have been where we got the term "Food Porn." Kotcheff hangs lovingly over the most opulent banquets ever seen on the screen to date.

I've always had trouble enjoying George Segal -- his acting is a bit broad for me. He always seems to be opening his mouth just a tad too wide, waving his hands just a bit too much. He's doing a very good job on ABC's The Goldbergs as the Grandpa; he seems to have pulled it back just a hair. But his not-quite-manic delivery works well here, as he's supposed to be a loud brassy American who sticks out like a sore thumb in the hallowed banquet halls and restaurants of Europe. The audience, like the cast, should have no idea what Jacky Bisset saw in the boor.

The final sequence in Television Centre is delightful, as Segal blunders his way through studio after studio looking for the cooking show. It's a sequence that's been done plenty of times, from Blazing Saddles to Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, but that's because it's such fertile comedic soil.

Vinnie's Pick: Hot Millions (1969)

Peter Ustinov has graced the posts of this blog more than a few times, and rightly so.  He was an astounding character actor, equally at home in drama as comedy, though usually providing the lighter characters in the dramatic turns.  Hot Millions is one of his lesser known films, And That's Terrible.  Like The Wife's selection, it's available from Warner Archive, which is allowing fans of more obscure films to finally own them, as well as opening them up to a new audience.  He co-wrote the script with Ira Wallach, and it was nominated for an Oscar for best original screenplay, one of his many award nominations, and two Oscar wins. 
We meet Marcus Pendleton (Ustinov) on his last day in prison, ending his turn for embezzlement of the National Conservative Party (Asked why he chose that target, he calmly replies "I'm a Liberal"). He finishes up the warden's tax return for him, ensuring him that they're bona fide, and is wished well, with the caveat that in this new electronic age, computers are making it harder for embezzlers to succeed. (In a subtle callback later in the film, he passes a newsstand displaying the headline that the warden was arrested for tax fraud).

Robert Morely serves as means to an end
in the film, giving Marcus Pendleton
his "In" to the world of business

Marcus realizes quickly that the warden has a point, and makes the logical move - to become a computer programmer, thus being the person in charge of writing all the security that makes it so hard for embezzlers.  So after a quick visit to a haberdashers for a City-worthy suit, he pops into a posh club for the upper class to troll for information.  Posing as a recruiter for an American company, TaCanCo, he's given the name of Cesar Smith (Robert Morely).  Smith is loath to take a new job, and Marcus is more than happy to convince him to follow his life's dream of traveling to South America to write a books about moths.  He's barely on the plane before Marcus assumes his identity and snaps up the job of lead computer program designer.  Executive Carlton J. Klemper (Karl Malden) acts from his gut, even though his V.P.  Willard Gnatpole (Bob Newhart) advises checking the naff Smith's credentials.  But when Smith shows Gnatpole up by suggesting a new method of coding practice that eliminates a bug he's been working on, he earns Klemper's nod and Gnatpole's ire.

Smith/Pendleton is shows the company's mainframe, and its security system is pointed out, a blue light that blocks all unauthorized access. He gets a secretary, who turns out to be Patty Terwilliger, who has a flat in the same boarding house as him, and who has suffered through a steady stream of jobs that she loses under calamitous circumstances.  She's confused as to why the man she knows as Marcus Pendleton is working here as Cesar Smith - he hastily explains he's working under his mother's name because of reasons.  They genially conspire to keep each other secret - she agrees not to talk about his name, and he agrees not to mention that she's not all that wonderful a secretary.

Smith immediately begins a campaign against that blue light, spending many a long night trying to hack his way around it.  He's ready to give up before he learns that the charwomen regularly disable it with a bang of their bucket against the back of the machine, as the inside of the computer is perfect for keeping tea warm.  Once that shackle has been freed, he begins his main plan, setting up phantom companies and authorizing payments to them. 

A perfect rendition of the old joke "So dumb she can't
change a typewriter ribbon without taking her dress off"

All the while, his friendship with Patty becomes more genial, as they begin to spend more time together.  The rest of the staff (especially Mr. Gnatpole) notices that she's not a very good secretary, and assume that she must be good in the sack.  Gnatpole begins a campaign of his own, to become close with Patty, one that she doesn't rebuff - she doesn't even grasp that he's trying.  There's a spectacular and dialogue-free scene when he offers to drive her home - as they drive, he keeps seeing signs like "Yield" and Make Way", and she sees signs reading "Stop" and "Do Not Enter"

Marcus' life goes very well, both professionally and personally - he's amassed a fortune in ill-gotten-gains, and has fallen in love with and married Patty.  When she reveals that she's "in the club" as she so delightfully puts it, he realizes it's time to cut and run.  Marcus and Patty emigrate to Rio and seem quite happy, and Klemper and Gnatpole are nearly breaking their arms pointing fingers at each other. It's about then that the REAL Cesar Smith, returned from South America, pops by TaCanCo when he learns that he's apparently been working there for some time.  He discovers Marcus' plan quickly, admiring it for its elegance.  They're ready to give up their money as lost, except they ge a telegram from "Smith", advising them as to where he is, and inviting them down to talk.  Cesar Romero has a delightful cameo as a Brazilian customs agent who almost kills Klemper with sarcasm when, discovering that he's brought instant coffee with him to Brazil (Coals to Newcastle, indeed), says to him, "To confiscate this is not enough; throw it away", making him not just toss it in the bin, but open it and shake the contents out. 

Not to divulge the ending, but nobody goes to jail, and nobody is sad, except for Mr. Gnatpole, mainly because nobody else is.

Bob Newhart is the unavowed modern
master of the Slow Burn.

Ustinov is a comedic master - you can't break concentration for a moment lest you miss one of his mumbled asides that will shatter you.  Malden plays a very model of a modern business-minded American, and Bob Newhart once again knocks it out of the park in the role of Small Angry Man that he does better than no other.  Maggie Smith has never turned in a bad performance, and this film is no exception.  Her Cockney accent gets full acceptance here, playing Patty as the classic flibbertigibbet.

Maggie Smith was great friends with Kenneth Williams, star of the "Carry On" films.  In this vintage clip she talks about him and their relationship.  In a clip tacked on to the end, Kenny shares a tale from years before in a department store.



Dorian checks over the books - We're big Peter Ustinov fans here at Team Bartilucci HQ, and Vinnie was the one who turned me on to Hot Millions, which in turn also turned me on to both Ustinov and Maggie Smith, thanks in part to our longtime pal John Wirenius. With Hot Millions' droll wit and the rest of the wonderful cast, we were hooked, thanks to "gateway drugs" like Topkapi, Grendel Grendel Grendel, and so much more!

TOPKAPI: Go Schmo!

I first saw United Artists/Filmways’ Topkapi with my older siblings on one of our local New York TV stations during my grade school days in the Bronx, where Topkapi’s director/producer Jules Dassin happened to have spent much of his own youth. They liked it, but I must confess that at the time, Topkapi’s inimitable leading lady Melina Mercouri kinda freaked me out!  Of course, at the time I didn’t realize Mercouri was an international star. All I knew about her was that she was a blonde lady with dark kohl-rimmed eyes, who spoke in a low, growling voice and had a predatory look. (At the time, Mom had taught me what “predatory” meant, and I was pretty darn proud to have learned how to memorize it right away!) She had a witchy look and a booming laugh that sounded scary to me at the time as she exulted, “That’s the way it can be done!”

But what a difference a decade makes!  When I watched Topkapi again in my teens, what I’d thought was witchy was now bewitching. I ended up loving it for Manos Hadjdakis’ zesty music; the colorful locations in Istanbul (not Constantinople), as well as Paris, France at the Boulogne-Billancourt Studios; and of course, its great cast of confident, breezy, likable bon vivants (more about them in a moment)!  In fact, the only problem I had with Topkapi in later viewings was that the strobe effect of the rays and blinking lights in the opening credits initially triggered my migraines! Luckily, we figured out how to fine-tune the TV, and the problem was solved. (Reading fellow blogger Vulnavia Morbius’ take on Topkapi in her own excellent Krell Laboratories blog from last year, I see she is apparently lucky enough to have no problems with Topkapi’s opening light effects, lucky gal that she is!  But I digress….)

As The New York Times film critic Bosley Crowther said in the opening lines of his 1964 Topkapi review, “Imagine Jules Dassin’s Rififi done in the spirit and style of his comical Never on Sunday and you have a good idea of the nature of his latest film, Topkapi (pronounced top-cappy)….”   If Dassin’s landmark 1954 thriller Rififi is the dark side of the caper film, then his 1964 follow-up Topkapi was Rififi on the sunnier, funnier, more stylishly playful side of the street with its witty, suspenseful screenplay by Monja Danischewsky (his screenwriting credits include Ealing Studios’ Whisky Galore! and Rockets Galore!, a.k.a. Mad Little Island), loosely adapted from Eric Ambler’s novel The Light of Day.

The first character we meet is our dazzling leading lady (Mercouri), who calls herself Elizabeth Lipp because it’s “convenient.”  She introduces herself to us viewers in a most kaleidoscopic fashion, her voice and attitude smokier than a five-alarm fire. Elizabeth explains that we’re in Istanbul, Turkey, in the Seraglio’s Topkapi Palace Museum. Many moons ago, before the museum became a tourist attraction, the joint was the home of Sultan Mahmud I and his many wives. When Elizabeth literally beckons us viewers to follow her, we’re intrigued before we start!  But our gal isn’t really greedy; of all the museum’s treasures, Elizabeth is only interested in a particular golden dagger adorned with “the four greatest emeralds the world has ever known,” bringing new meaning to the phrase “the wearing of the green.” For the record, Elizabeth seems especially keen on the rectangular emerald. As she leans against the glass, “a strange feeling comes over me,” she moans, almost orgasmically. Director of Photography Henri Alekan (Roman Holiday; the 1946 version of Beauty and the Beast; Wings of Desire) truly makes Mercouri look like she’s making sweet love to the camera!

Babe in Toyland!

Elizabeth leaves Turkey for Paris, where we meet her former flame: suave, Swiss Walter Harper (Maximilian Schell, Oscar-winner for Judgment at Nuremberg; Oscar-nominee for The Man in the Glass Booth and Julia; and scene-stealer in one of my favorite Adrien Brody films, The Brothers Bloom). Oh, did I mention that Walter happens to be holding a gun to a man’s back at the time? Luckily for his nervous mark, Walter pleasantly lets the guy leave with his life. Elizabeth has been watching, and the pair is more than happy to pick up where they left off, both romance-wise and theft-wise—and why not, with their great chemistry? Here’s one of my favorite bits of dialogue:

Elizabeth:“Do you mind that I am a nymphomaniac?”
Walter: “It’s your most endearing quality.”
Elizabeth: “Don’t waste it, use it.” (Couple time ensues.)

"I wish I may, I wish I might,
steal the jewels I wish tonight!"

Walter is on board with Elizabeth’s dagger heist plan, on one condition: he’ll only work with amateurs who have no pesky police records that might tip off John Law and trip up our happy thieves. The recruits include:

• Englishman Cedric Page, eccentric but genial inventor and whimsical master of all things mechanical, including security systems. He’s played with mischievous delight by the great Robert Morley from The African Queen; Hot Millions (more about that shortly, too); Who is Killing the Great Chefs of Europe; and Theatre of Blood, among others;
• Muscular Hans Fischer (Indiana-born character actor Jess Hahn, who mostly performed in foreign films) to help with heavy lifting and the like;
• Giulio the Human Fly (French actor/writer/songwriter/acrobat Gilles Ségal), the mute acrobat who actually steals the dagger as he’s lowered from the museum ceiling to outfox the floor-mounted alarm. Word has it Ségal’s stunts inspired the trickwire stunts for both the original TV series and the Tom Cruise movie versions of Mission: Impossible..

Objects in the rear-view mirror may be
more cowardly than they appear!

I needed this today?!

Now all the gang needs is a patsy to throw the police off the scent. Enter bumbling jack-of-all-trades and small-time would-be con man Arthur Simon Simpson, succinctly described by Walter as “a historian, guide, and schmo.” Arthur is played endearingly and effortlessly by Team Bartilucci fave Peter Ustinov, one of the funniest and most versatile men who ever graced stage, screen (big and small), and comedy albums. Ustinov not only won the second of his two Best Supporting Actor Oscars for Topkapi (he’d previously won for Spartacus in 1961)  but he and Ira Wallach also received Oscar nominations in 1968 for their hilarious screenplay for the clever caper comedy Hot Millions. And of course, let’s not forget Ustinov’s turns in Logan’s Run; the animated Grendel Grendel Grendel (another Team B. fave); and several delightful whodunits based on Dame Agatha Christie’s mysteries about the beloved detective Hercule Poirot, among many others.  As you’ve probably noticed, we could cheerfully blather away about all things Ustinov in a blog post all about the great man himself, but we’ll do our best to pull ourselves together and focus on Topkapi!

Gerven knows how to
make guests feel welcome! 

Melina coaxes Max out of his Schell!

Laughter is the best medicine
for jewel heists! Who knew?

Now then, where were we? Ah yes, Elizabeth and Walter need a schmo for their heist plan. Even the tourists don’t take Arthur seriously—especially those who he’s tried to expose to local night life—sidestepping him as if he had dog poop permanently stuck to his shoe. In short, Arthur is perfect for our thieves’ purposes!  They hire him to drive a white luxury Lincoln convertible into Turkey which, as the B-52’s sang, seats about twenty. Little does Arthur realize the car’s full of hidden explosives and firearms for the upcoming robbery, and he’s been set up as the poor patsy driver in case there’s trouble at the border!  Arthur’s role in the scheme almost literally blows up in his face, especially when Turkish Customs officials see that Arthur’s passport has long since expired (maybe Arthur and Oscar Homolka’s Prof. Gurkakoff from Ball of Fire can trade expired-drivers’ license anedotes). The car is searched, the firearms are confiscated, and Arthur becomes the catch of the day: Grilled Simpson!  The Turkish Secret Police, led by  the sinister yet undeniably cool-looking Major Ali Tufan (Turkish actor Ege Ernart) and his colleague Harback (character actor Tito Vandis, billed here as “Titos Wandis.” His many roles include The Exorcist; Never on Sunday with Mercouri; and Team B.’s favorite among his roles, the lovesick shepherd from Woody Allen’s Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex* [*but were afraid to ask]).  Major Tufan and Harback are sure our gang is plotting an assassination at an upcoming military parade, and they recruit Arthur to spy on our lovable rogues, under threat of death! The joke’s on them, as Arthur is as much of a bumbling spy as he is a bumbling con man, trying to  pass along useless intel in cigarette packs. Too bad Arthur doesn’t seem to have gotten the hang of thorough toilet-flushing. And we’re not even in the Topkapi Museum yet!  But as they say, getting there is half the fun—heck, it’s all the fun, especially with a suspenseful climactic robbery sequence that rivals Dassin’s own Rififi! Akim Tamiroff (his roles ranged from Preston Sturges’ The Great McGinty and The Miracle of Morgan’s Creek to Touch of Evil and other Orson Welles films, and so much more!), is another scene-stealer as Gerven, a drunken cook who unwittingly throws a new monkey wrench in the works. I can say no more for fear of giving away any more of Topkapi’s sparkling surprises (and we don’t just mean emeralds), but I will say it includes my favorite usage of the phrase “A little bird told me.”

Joseph Dassin, Jules' son:
proof that nepotism can be a wonderful thing! 

Fun Facts: In Ustinov in Focus by Tony Thomas, Ustinov admitted, "I have a special affection for Topkapi. The character is so absurd. I love the idea of a man who aims low and misses. Simpson is the kind of man who wears blazers a little too consistently, the kind with military presumptions, who has to belong to a cricket club. He's a man who hovers between the more reprehensible columns of The News of the World and oblivion." Also, Joseph Dassin, singer/songwriter son of director/producer Jules Dassin, plays Josef, dashing proprietor of the traveling fair display that’ll spirit the dagger out of the country. It proves that nepotism can be a wonderful thing! 

Would it surprise anyone to hear that soon after its theatrical success, Topkapi inspired a real-life theft in my hometown? Three men broke into New York City’s  American Museum of Natural History and escaped with the famous Star of India, the De Long Ruby, and other priceless treasures. They were eventually caught, and admitted in custody that they had seen Topkapi prior to their robbery. See, life sometimes does imitate art!

Arthur has vertigo! When did this become a Hitchcock movie?

The Annual 43-Man Squamish Tournament begins!

As Elizabeth Lipp, Melina Mercouri can join our Red Hat Society anytime!

Nobody's here but us thieves!

I got me a Lincoln, it seats about twenty....

By DorianTB